Have you found your way here because you’re trying to get over an affair?
Whether you’re the unfaithful wife trying to get over an affair, or the betrayed husband looking for answers…I’m glad you’re here.
You’ll find words of hope and learn practical ways to begin restoring your marriage and your broken hearts.
Getting over an affair is hard work.
Finding ways to heal a marriage after an infidelity is difficult but it can be done. Knowing what to do, and what not to do, will be very important so you don’t hurt each other even more now.
The information and practical steps I give would be helpful for either an unfaithful wife OR husband, however, I wanted to address primarily women who have strayed.
Which brings me to a little about me and my story.
I have been there myself. I was the unfaithful wife and have lived through the pain and destruction of my own affair.
I too betrayed my vows, after 19 years of being in a good marriage and a Mom to 3 kids.
I thought it would never happen to me. I wasn’t THAT kind of girl…I thought.
After it did happen, and I was dealing with the mess I’d made of my life, I turned to the internet hoping to find some answers and guidance in the privacy of my own home.
I found it very hard to find blogs or websites written from the perspective of the WIFE who strayed.
Most of what I found were psychologists and counselors talking about infidelity and affairs in an impersonal way because they had never experienced it firsthand themselves. They had some helpful tips. But I felt it was one thing to read from a textbook about what to tell couples who are in an affair, yet I needed to hear from real women and real couples whose marriage was healed after HER affair.
So, why in the world would I be so vulnerable to share my story?
Honestly, I ask myself that some days too. It’s not easy to be real with total strangers on the internet about the biggest regret of my life. Sometimes it’s still hard to write and think about that time in my life. For many years I preferred to just not talk about it to anyone and I wanted to bury the pain. Yet, I knew I had an experience that other women could relate to. My husband and I found ways to heal personally, and heal our marriage, and I knew it was finally time to share those ways.
You can read more about our marriage story here.
I want to share what we’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) with you.
You can read about the various stages of an affair to identify where you are in the process. Knowing where you are now helps you to know how to move on and get healing.
Our marriage survived my affair and yours can too if you both are willing to do whatever it takes to heal.
We did decide to stay together. We almost didn’t make it. It took many years, counselors, forgiveness, more mistakes, time and patience to find our way through the mess I had created.
It has been 9 years since those awful days and we are in a place of healing and hope that I didn’t think would be possible. Our marriage is better than before.
There IS a new better life waiting for you.
Whether your spouse has decided to leave you, or if they are waiting and thinking about staying, I believe this site can help you.
There is no shame or finger pointing here.
I experienced enough of that myself after my affair, and I know shame only seeks to silence and keeps you from seeking help. It doesn’t heal someone or their marriage. I don’t minimize the seriousness of what we’ve done, but we can’t heal from what we don’t acknowledge.
Reaching out for help is the first step to healing our hearts, and our marriages.
I hope this site will provide some hope and comfort that there is a way out of the pain and the awful feelings of being torn apart that an affair brings.
I will interject my own personal story when needed and by seeing them in blue italics like here. Although my own infidelity experience, and the experience of how our marriage was healed after my affair, may differ from yours I believe the work needed is the same.
If you’d like to read about how faith played a role in our marriage being healed, click here.
Feel free to contact me with any comments or questions or any way that I can be of help.