Are you trying to get over an affair and not sure where to turn?
If you are the unfaithful wife, torn and confused and trying to get over your affair, you’re in the right place.
I created this site just for you.
I understand how you feel, because I was there too.
Also, if you are the betrayed husband looking for answers, there’s a whole section for you to help you sort through all the confusion and pain.
I’m glad you’re here.
You’ll find words of hope here, and learn practical things you can start doing today to begin healing your own broken heart, and learn ways you can begin restoring your marriage too. It all takes time and patience.
Getting over an affair is hard work.
Finding ways to heal a marriage after an infidelity is difficult, but it can be done.
Knowing what to do, and what not to do, will be very important so you don’t hurt each other even more now.
The information and practical steps I give would be helpful for either an unfaithful wife OR husband, however, I primarily address women who have strayed since that is my experience and there is not much written in the context of the WIFE being the unfaithful one.
But if you are a betrayed wife with an unfaithful husband, you will gain important information I believe you can use in your healing process, too.
You’re probably wondering where to turn first.
Your world is upside down and you never dreamed you’d be here. Are you the the unfaithful wife needing some guidance on what to do now and how to heal?
Maybe you’re the the betrayed husband looking for answers on why your wife had an affair.
First, where are you at this point in the affair/recovery process?
click on the link that best applies to your current situation:
- Tempted to start an affair, but don’t think it’ll happen to you.
- In the middle of the affair, spouse does not know.
- Spouse found out about my affair (Discovery Day has happened), but I don’t want to give it up.
- I have tried to break off the affair but can’t seem to let them go.
- I broke off the affair, or trying to, but my spouse doesn’t trust me or know if they want to reconcile.
- We want to make our marriage work now but don’t know where to start.
- If you are the betrayed spouse and you’re trying to make sense of why your spouse had an affair. (Mostly written to husbands, but wives would benefit from this too)
Maybe you’re wondering who I am and what do I have to say that would help you during this crisis? You can read a little about me and my story. I have been there myself.
My husband and I have lived through
the pain and destruction of my own affair.
But we made it…our marriage survived after my affair,
and we are happier now (married 31 years), than
we ever were before.
But it wasn’t easy.
It took many years, counselors, forgiveness, more mistakes, time and patience to find our way through the mess I had created.
I believe your marriage can be saved too, if you both are willing to work for it.
I thought it would never happen to me, I wasn’t THAT kind of girl…I thought.
After it did happen, and I was dealing with the mess I’d made of my life, I turned to the internet hoping to find some answers and guidance in the privacy of my own home.
I found it very hard to find blogs or websites written from the perspective of the WIFE who strayed.
Most of what I found were psychologists and counselors talking about infidelity and affairs in an impersonal way because they had never experienced it firsthand themselves. They had some helpful tips.
But our own marriage was made worse at first actually by two really bad marriage counselors. And that’s when I realized how important it was to find not only better marriage therapists, but also other couples who have been through this fire themselves and made it out the other side, not just by learning about it secondhand.
I felt it was one thing to read from a textbook about what to tell couples who are in an affair, yet I needed to hear from real women and real couples whose marriage was healed after HER affair.
So, why in the world would I be so vulnerable to share my story?
Honestly, I ask myself that some days too. It’s not easy to be real with total strangers on the internet about the biggest regret of my life. Sometimes it’s still hard to write and think about that time in my life. For many years I preferred to just not talk about it to anyone and I wanted to bury the pain. Yet, I knew I had an experience that other women could relate to. My husband and I found ways to heal personally, and heal our marriage, and I knew it was finally time to share those ways.
You can read more about our marriage story here.
This blog is my way of sharing what we’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) with you. If our marriage could be not only saved, but healed and happy now, I believe yours can as well.
You can read about the various stages of an affair to identify where you are in the process. Knowing where you are now helps you to know how to move on and get healing.
waiting for you and your
Whether your spouse has decided to leave you, or if they are waiting and thinking about staying, I believe this site can help you.
There is no shame or finger pointing here.
I experienced enough of that myself after my affair, and I know shame only seeks to silence and keeps you from seeking help. It doesn’t heal someone or their marriage. I don’t minimize the seriousness of what we’ve done, but we can’t heal from what we don’t acknowledge.
Reaching out for help is the first step to healing our hearts, and our marriages.
I hope this site will provide some hope and comfort that there is a way out of the pain and the awful feelings of being torn apart that an affair brings.
If you’d like to read about how faith played a role in our marriage being healed, click here.
Feel free to contact me with any comments or questions or any way that I can be of help.