For a quick overview about this site and about me go here
About me and my affair story:
My affair story may be different than yours, but I’m sure you’ll find some similarities. I’m sure you would agree that the pain and heartache our infidelity caused us and our husband, was beyond what we thought through at the time.
I’m doing what many will likely say is foolish (especially some family members).
I’m taking off my mask of trying to have it all together, and my former pursuit of perfectionism, to share my story and what helped me personally and also our marriage, to heal from the pain of my affair.
I’ll share just as I would a close friend over coffee, so pull up a chair. I’m glad you’re here.
“Our worst screw ups are life’s way of keeping us humble”
I decided to start this after my affair site, nine years after my own infidelity.
As a Christian woman, who had loved and walked with God, I didn’t think I could ever have an affair. Yet, after nineteen years of marriage and three boys, I crossed the line I thought I’d never cross by having an affair with a man from our church recovery group.
Trading one addiction for another.
Seeking recovery from my own addiction/abuse of alcohol at the time, and the subsequent stress on our marriage from it, put me in a vulnerable place for infidelity that I did not understand at the time.
The compassion I had for a man going through his own divorce became twisted and was unfortunately the catalyst that opened the door to an affair.
The shame and humiliation that resulted became the darkest time in my life. The shame was magnified when church leadership and members found out, and I was abandoned by close friends who couldn’t handle the disappointment of my huge moral failure.
I thought we would never be happy again.
After realizing it wasn’t easy to flip a switch and free myself from the affair, my marriage suffered even more as my husband was (justifiably) not sure if he could stay in the marriage.
It was the worst time in our marriage.
After many mistakes, counseling sessions, some very hard and painful steps taken, our marriage was on the way to healing and trust was slowly returning.
Forgiveness for myself came slower and I’m honestly still working on that part, easier said than done some days.
A few years after discovery day of the affair (D-Day), we moved to Colorado, which greatly helped in healing our marriage and both our hearts.
On our way to restoring our marriage, and then breast cancer.
But within 6 months I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Three years later, I was the small percentage of women with my particular type, to have a breast cancer recurrence.
Having been though surgeries and chemo treatments for a year, my husband and I can honestly say the affair was still harder to go through than cancer.
Here to support you in your healing after your healing.
My affair story may be different than yours, but what we probably have in common is the pain and heartbreak that infidelity has caused us. I don’t have all the answers on marriage or how to have a completely fantastic life after infidelity. However, my hope is the lessons I’ve learned (the hard way) will help and inspire you on your own journey to having a better life in the future, and hopefully a healed and restored marriage.
If you are a wife who has been unfaithful, read my specific message for you, as I outline where to start on your journey of healing, click here.
For a little more about us and our marriage story click here