A letter from me to you, as The Unfaithful Wife.
Would you allow me just a few minutes of your time to read this brief letter I wrote just for you?
Welcome to my site, “After My Affair”. Yea, the title kind of gives it away. I had an affair. Over 12 years ago, I was the unfaithful wife.
It was the most emotional and heartbreaking time in my life. Our marriage was on the brink of divorce because of it. But we made it through, and are closer now than ever. It’s the reason I wrote this blog, to help other women going through the same thing.
But right now I want to talk about you.
If you’ve found yourself here, you’re likely a woman who strayed from your marriage and is now the unfaithful wife. It’s not a fun label, I know.
I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. But I am glad you are here and I welcome you with no judgment or shame.
You might be wondering how you ended up having an affair; something you’d never have believed you were capable of before this.
But, if you’re like most of us women who’ve had an affair, you’re probably feeling like your affair partner is your soul mate,
the one who truly loves you and sees you like none other.
Maybe even more than you felt from your husband, at least in a long time.
Are you finding it almost impossible to break it off and wondering if you can ever live without him?
This is a very common feeling and something I talk about a lot here. We’ll sort out all the emotions that are keeping you in the affair and away from your husband. I’ll also give you practical steps and tools to break it off for good, if you realize that is the best for your future, so you can begin healing your life.
Perhaps nobody knows about the affair, except your affair partner, of course.
Or maybe your secret has been exposed, and you’re feeling the repercussions of it.
If your husband knows of your affair, there is most likely a lot of tension, and possibly even uncertainty in the future of your marriage.
It is a lonely and scary place to be.
You might feel guilty and ashamed of your actions, but unable to find a way to change.
Mix that with the other side of the affair, which is excitement and connection with this man whom you believe you now love.
The feeling of being desirable and attractive to someone else can make us feel like a teenager again, something many of us have not felt in a long time.
Are you feeling that matter which decision you make, you’ll feel pain and heartache?
I understand the conflicting feelings and confusion.
As I mentioned, I was in the exact place you find yourself in now.
Although I’m not proud of it, I’ve been there.
And even though our stories of how we ended up having an affair might be different,
our core need to feel loved, heard, desired and cherished are all pretty similar.
But I’m here to tell you, there is a better way. There is better life waiting for you instead of one sneaking around
and trying to keep track of all the lies you’ve told.
The confusion and torn feelings don’t have to be your reality anymore.
Help is available for you here no matter where you with the affair right now.
You may not even be sure you want to end the affair yet, that’s understandable. It’s hard to make sense of what’s the best thing for us when we’re in the middle of it all.
So, wherever you are in the affair today, you’ll find support and learn practical steps to have a better, more peaceful, life…even if it doesn’t seem possible right now.
YOU are the reason I started this site, to give you hope and offer a friendship from someone who has walked this road before you.
This blog is here to help you make sense of some of the confusing feelings, and guilt, you’re likely feeling.
Although I’m not a counselor, and this isn’t meant to replace professional advice, I also speak from experience as someone who has lived through my own affair.
I didn’t learn all this from a textbook, only through the tough way of personal experience.
You can read our marriage story here; how my husband and I eventually healed and recovered from this life altering experience. We just recently celebrated our 31st Anniversary! Woo-hoo!
It took a lot of hard work and God’s daily help for both of us. Now we just want to help other couples have the same hope and solutions to have a better marriage too.
Action steps for you to take:
- Look at the blog categories below and choose the one that’s most accurate with where you are today. Take your time to read through them. (Also, subscribe to our email community so you’ll be updated on new posts, information I only share with my email subscribers, and free-bees I like to do).
- It’s always good to tell someone what you’re going through. If you don’t have anyone you trust with this delicate information, I’d love to be that person for you. At least until you can find a good counselor or an accountability friend. You can email me at: [email protected] I read every one of them and I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can. I’d love to hear from you!
P.S. If there’s a particular subject you’re looking to read about, let me know that too.
Read More Blog posts for the wife who strayed
This post is a bit different than some you’ll find out there.This is about the affair recovery for the betrayer.
Are you the one who was unfaithful?
Are you feeling pretty crappy right now and unsure when
(or if) you’ll ever feel free of guilt and shame?
Then this post is written directly to you, my friend.
Every affair begins somewhere. They all have a fairly predictable start.
After an affair is over, many women will say they don’t understand how they could be have allowed themselves to be unfaithful
and they are often confused about how they got into the situation in the first place.
Yet, there are always signs to look for.
The foundation is always set and the conditions are ripe before an affair starts.
Those conditions can be as innocent as discontentment or unhappiness within a woman’s heart and life.
The condition of her heart could be cold toward her husband and perhaps small resentments have built up.
Left unchecked and not talked about, resentments are seeds that can grow into displeasure and a desire to find happiness in someone else.