Welcome friend, I’m so very glad you’re here!
Hi, I’m Debbie. I’m the founder of this site ‘After My Affair’.
I’m well acquainted with failure;
but equally grateful for God’s grace & forgiveness.
I know what a marriage on the brink feels like,
and one that’s beautifully restored.
The second one is way better…
Twelve years ago, I betrayed my husband
in a way I never thought I could,
I had an extramarital affair.
I underestimated the strong soul ties that affairs
create and we suffered a lot of extra
heartache because I didn’t know how to break free for longer than a few weeks!
But eventually, you’ve got to come to a place where you’re just DONE.
The affair drama, internal chaos and emotional pain just wasn’t worth holding onto something
I knew was ruining my life and grieving God’s heart.
It took about 2-3 years (after our true ‘ground zero’),
of intense recovery work to restore trust and heal the pain,
until we were finally past the worst of it.
My husband and I were eventually beautifully healed and restored
through God’s grace, tons of hard work and time.
Then we moved to Colorado, and 6 months later, I was told I had breast cancer.
Just as we were heading out of the worst time of our lives, we entered another storm.
The storm of breast cancer pulled us together though, and we found comfort in God’s
presence in the hard places in life.
I learned a lot of very hard and painful lessons through that season in my life.
My husband and I also learned how easy it is to take our beautiful marriage for granted,
by letting the enemy of our souls to get even a small foothold in.
Honestly, the breast cancer we walked through was nothing compared to the infidelity.
So, just know that I understand how terrible of a storm you’re in right now, if you’re facing infidelity.
Whether you’re in the storm as an unfaithful wife, or your storm is as a betrayed husband; or betrayed wife.
At the time of my affair, we had spent 19 happy years building a marriage and family…and we almost lost it all.
Today we are restored and healed in a way that only God could have done, and we just celebrated 31 years of marriage.
Our 3 boys are grown (we are even grandparents now), and we get to experience the joy of grandparenting together!
What a blessing!
Yet, this site isn’t really about me.
My story is just meant to encourage you, and give you hope that there is a better life for you.
Because this site exists for you, my friend.
Shame and guilt doesn’t have to keep you suffering alone anymore.
There is help and support for you.
I wanted to create a way to help women who were unfaithful, as I was one. It’s more common to hear
things written just for the unfaithful husband, and not the unfaithful WIFE. So that’s what this site is here for.
I wanted to find a way to reach all the women who have had an affair, (and the numbers are growing), but
are looking for information geared just for them.
If you’re here as the betrayed husband, my husband also understands what you are going through,
which is why I have a whole section of posts devoted to you, that I add to frequently.
You’ll never experience shame here.
But I speak the truth, and won’t ever white wash what you need to hear,
because your life won’t get better by staying the same.
So, whether that truth comes in one of my blog posts, Youtube videos (which I’ll be adding more to),
or in an email correspondence with me, it’s always from a place of love
because I understand the pain you’re likely going through.
If you’ve been the unfaithful one, especially as a woman, you likely are already hurting more than you’ve ever
hurt before. If your story is known to others, you’re probably even facing the loneliness from a loss of friends,
who you thought would always be there for you.
I understand that firsthand.
There was a time, after truly ending my affair and coming out of my fog of delusion, that the magnitude of what
I’d done to my precious husband, my boys, and to God, really hit me hard.
The shame became too much, and I tried to take my own life, and ended up in the hospital that whole night.
Suicide is a real issue for people living in shame, especially after infidelity.
That’s not the answer though.
YOU are WORTH finding the healing and recovery that you need.
And it’s definitely possible.
It may feel hopeless right now, but if you’re still breathing- there’s hope for you.
This is a safe place and you’re not alone.
I truly care about what you’re going through.
You’ve taken such a brave step toward healing by searching for answers and support.
I’d love to support you on your journey.
Our community consists of:
Support and help for women who were unfaithful.
1. Consider me your Affair Recovery Coach.
I help women who are in any phase of the affair or healing after an affair to heal and be restored
from the shame and destruction of infidelity. Having walked this same road myself twelve years ago,
I understand the steps to take for recovery and what to avoid, and have a beautiful marriage today.
Don’t try to use willpower to end your affair.
Support and accountability is a key component to heal from this.
2. Community of Women supporting each other on Facebook.
A growing group of women, seeking ways to heal and have our souls,
and our marriages, to instead live a life of meaning and purpose.
(We’d love to have you join our facebook group- ‘AMA Women.‘
We purposely don’t say ‘Affair’ in it. You can join privately here today).
(Or, click the facebook icon on the top of this page).
Support and guidance for men who were betrayed.
3. This community is also filled with many betrayed husbands, who have specific needs and differences
and are here for support, direction and healing too. Recently my husband started his own
private facebook group, just for betrayed husbands. The purpose is to help you move
past the trauma of your wife’s affair, and know that you’re not alone in the process.
It’s called AHA Men (which stands for ‘after HER affair’)
Here’s the link, I encourage you to join today.
So, dear woman, are you having a hard time truly ending the affair?
I’d love to give you a gift to help you end it for good.
Download my “No Contact Anti-Cheat Sheet” to help guide you step-by-step
on the essentials of ending contact with your affair partner.
You can email me at [email protected] and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Don’t try to do this alone.
Please note, when emailing me you’ll be added to my mailing list
where I update my readers on tips, lessons, free offers and all the latest happening’s here at
AMA. You can unsubscribe at any time and your email is always safe.
Also, as my gift to you for just stopping by, I’d love to give you my e-book for free.
“19 ways to restore your marriage after infidelity” It’s a sneak peek at the steps we took to heal.
Download it here.
Did you read my note to you and more blog posts here?
If you want to know more about our marriage story, you can go here.
If you’re looking for information about restoring your marriage, click here.