How our marriage survived my affair.

Our marriage story.

Hi, I’m Deb. I’m so glad you’re here.
I hope our marriage story will give you some hope that reconciling after an affair is possible.

I believe our personal story of betrayal,  forgiveness,
being set free and restoration will truly encourage you
to overcome the difficulties in your marriage and personal life too…
whether that was infidelity or other things.

You’ll read about the many different challenges
we had to overcome in our marriage-but we’re not different or special.

I hope you will find that hope to overcome whatever challenges you too are facing.

It was only when I was truly and completely tired of the direction my life was going,
that I was willing to surrender it all to God.
It took a while, but I had to let The Lord heal my shame, and heal our marriage. 

The links below describe in more detail what we each did to restore our relationship:

How I began to figure out and do what would help my husband to heal faster.

I talk about what he did that actually made things worse for his own healing in the beginning, to help the betrayed husbands reading this to learn from.

I also share what my husband did that helped him heal, and how he learned to take care of himself finally.

And what we did as a couple to restore trust and our marriage.

If you want to restore your marriage after an affair,
there will be blessings in store for you.

But it takes hard work and persistence,
and lots of humility for both of you.

There is a God who can redeem even the worst of situations.

Yet, please hear me dear one,
even if your marriage does not make it through this,
there is still hope and restoration
for you as a child of God.

God loves you and wants to heal every part of you that is broken and hurting.
We, as the unfaithful ones, need that healing too,
even though many people are just angry at the ‘adulterer’.

But God is not angry with you.
He does tell us to turn from our sin, to let it go and turn to Him instead.
And I believe when we really do that, we will find a healing and peace
that comes from communion with Jesus that we can’t find any other way.

What if you both don’t know if you feel like making your marriage work?

Our feelings can lie to us, and after infidelity it can be difficult to find those feelings again.

I’d say what helped both of us was first making the decision to commit to the marriage again.
He didn’t know if staying was going to work out, because I lost his trust.

But once we both committed to the marriage, and I broke off all contact with the affair partner,
we ‘burned the ships’ as I explained above. 
No turning back.
We both had to stop listening to our feelings, and stick to our decision even when there were hard days.

“Sometimes our feelings just need to catch up to our decision.  And they eventually will.”

I don’t have all the answers, but if you take the time to read the articles, be humble and willing to change,
see a good counselor and pray for God to help you heal.
I believe you can come through this better than before.
It takes time.
But time is going to pass anyway, you might as well do whatever it takes during this time to get your life back where you want it to be.

If you haven’t already, read the posts under to the unfaithful wife, where I have posts on different stages of affairs and recovery.

Are you a husband trying to get answers after finding out about your wife’s affair?

Go to this link and read the posts specifically written for you.